Finn Writes A Fan Fiction
by yashination
Summary: Finn and Jake compete to see who can write a better Fan Fiction.


"I'm reading the Ice King's fan fiction," said Jake one morning at the breakfast table.

"Fan Fiction is terrible!" yelled Finn as he drew his sword from his back pack.

"It's actually not bad. I thought he really captured you well…" Jake said before being cutoff.

"No! It's for babies who are afraid to have real adventures!" grumbled Finn while dousing his sword in petrol and lighting it on fire.

"I don't know man. I think I'm going to start writing one," said Jake as he crossed his arms.

"Never!" screamed Finn as he cut the Ice Kings novel into two flaming pieces. They burned into piles of ashes which Finn blew into the cracks in the floor board until he was satisfied they could not be found and reassembled.

"Whatever man," said a nonplussed Jake as he sipped his coffee, "You're just afraid of things you can't do."

"Why don't you both write a fan fiction," said BMO who was unnoticed until now, "I will process both of your works and determine which has a greater literary value."

"In that case," said Finn as he squinted his eyes, "It's on."

"Dude weren't you just saying how terrible…" said Jake who was interrupted once again as Finn ran screaming into the basement. Smashed a chest with his sword and pulled out an old type writer and began his fan fiction. It went like this.

The Best Hero by Finn

One day, after several centuries of peace, a great evil came upon the land of Ooo. Its name was… was… Death… DeathFace. And he had horns, and a knife and he'd go up to people and cut them with his knife.

But one day he walked up to the hero, who was wearing a cloak or something and said, "I'm going to cut you with my knife."

But the hero threw off his cloak and said, "I'm actually Finn the Human. The cloak was a disguise."

"No! How could I have been fooled so easily!" screamed DeathFace.

So Finn punched him in the head and he died.

The End

The next morning after fixing half the spelling errors Finn brought his work to the breakfast table.

"Well Jake, are you ready to admit the defeat," laughed Finn triumphantly.

"What are you talking about bro?" said Jake.

"I just wrote the greatest fan fiction in history and you must give me prudence," said Finn.

"What's prudence?" asked Jake.

"Not sure, but that's what we bet, 10 prudence to the winner. So let's have BMO process our FF's, so I can get my prudence," said Finn as ran over to give his paper to BMO.

"Well I'll look that word up later. But in the mean time I'm still working on mine," sighed Jake.

"What? You mean you're adding more words. Mine's like already half a page," worried Finn.

"Literature isn't about words man. It's about the experience. It's about the arc," spoke Jake.

"The arc?" wondered Finn.

"Yeah man. First your character is faced with a problem. Then they try to overcome it. But at some point when things look their worst they finally resolve what they worked so hard to change and everything is better," said Jake and he stretched into a cheetah.

"Yeah that makes sense," said Finn crumpling his paper.

The Worst Hero Who Became the Best Hero by Finn

Finn was born. He was a weak baby, but then he started doing pushups and carrying around a sword and became the best hero in Ooo.

The End

Finn crumpled the paper. It was no use. Jake was way more creative and all Finn knew was how to hit things. So he went to see Choose Goose in his magical shack to find a spell to become more creative.

"So you want to want relief from writers block, come into my shack you need only knock," quaffed the goose.

"Thanks Choose Goose," said Finn.

"Here we have a magic hat that sends ideas to your brain, but wear it too long and you'll go insane," Choose Goose said as he picked up an old Baseball cap.

"Do you have anything without any side effects?" asked Finn.

"Looking for something safe and sound, how about the beard of Dan Brown," said Choose Goose as he picked up an assortment of hairs and skin.

"I might catch a disease from that," said Finn with a nauseas look on his face. "How about this?" he said, as he picked up a golden pen.

"Ah what you found is this, the pen of literary bliss. You will write a work so great that you will be trapped in a…" but Choose Goose was interrupted.

"A great work eh?" said Finn, "That will give me the upper hand in me and Jake's bet for sure."

"Jake and I," corrected Choose Goose.

Finn paid for the pen and ran back to the tree house.

The Hero by Finn

Leg's broken and crushed under the giant's heel. Finn could barely move, yet his hands managed to find the will to reach for his sword.

"Ha! Is this what you want?" said the giant plucking his sword from the ground. "Such a puny weapon can never harm me." The giant lifted the sword readying to spear Finn and end his life.

A powerful war cry came from the east, "Nothung!"

In a flash a sword had spun right through the giants arm, severing it. As the Giant squealed in pain the hilt of the sword fell into the hands of Billy.

Billy approached the broken body of Finn as the giant scampered off.

"Drink this," said Billy, "it will mend your bones and heal your wounds." He handed Finn a small vile.

Finn did as he was told and swallowed the contents of the vile. Immediately all cuts and bruises disappeared, following by simultaneous sensation of relief and pain as his bones realigned and reconnected.

"Wow, that was…" but Finn was cut off.

"No time young one," said Billy, "The Lich is gathering forces in the west. I need your help to defeat him."

Finn drew his sword from his backpack and put on his determined face.

Finn spent many months adventuring with Billy. One day while on patrol a massive giant plucked an unsuspecting Billy from behind and tossed him over the horizon. Before Finn could act, he found himself beneath the Giant's foot. At the moments all hope was lost the giant's arm was severed and Finn was healed.

"I thought you were dead," said Finn to Billy.

"No time my friend. The Ice King has frozen the Candy Kingdom," said Billy sternly.

"Alright count me in," said Finn.

Over the next few months Finn and Billy reduced an evil ocean to a small pond, defeated Marceline's father in the Fire Kingdom, and closed the portal to the Land of the Dead to prevent Death's minions from eating the flesh of the living.

As things seemed to calm and settle things seemed to be at peace but one day a massive giant attacked during patrol. Billy was thrown down a well and Finn was given minutes to live as the giant crushed him with his foot, but he was saved at the last second.

Finn and Billy went on many adventures, but in a few months Finn found himself under the giant's heel again, and again, and again, and…

Jake hit Finn so hard he was seeing birds.

"Why'd you stop me?" croaked Finn, "My masterpiece was coming along so well."

"What masterpiece?" said Jake, "You were just making scribbles and drooling."

Jake showed Finn his work, which was a series of loops he drew with his pen.

"Stupid thing," Finn said as he locked the pen in a small lock box. "It's probably possessed I'll have to return it to Choose Goose."

"You tried to solve your problems with magic again, right?" asked Jake.

"Yeah well, I don't suppose you are very far with your FF," replied Finn.

"Mostly done, just need to do grammar check," said Jake confidently.

"Aw clam!" said Finn as he slumped down, "Well here's your prudence."

Finn pulled five acorns from his pocket.

"We agreed on ten," said Jake.

Finn gave Jake a picture of Abraham Lincoln cut of a 5 dollar bill.

"That's better," said Jake, "I'm going to enjoy these."

"Jake, why couldn't I do it? Why couldn't I write a fan fiction?" pondered Finn.

"Because you are a child of the world and I am a dog of a mind," spoke Jake, "Someday you'll understand."

"Well let's read your masterpiece, I bet it's action packed," said Finn.

The Light Between the Curtains by Jake

"I'm sorry I didn't come to your sister's wedding but I'm here now," said Jake.

"Oh Jake," said Lady Rainicorn as she flung herself into his stretchy arms.

Their lips approached at an alarming rate and…

Finn shoved Jakes work back to him and felt a little bile rise in his throat.

"Ugh! How can you stomach that garbage," choked Finn.

"Just giving the fans what they want," replied Jake.

"I want my prudence back," said Finn grimly.

The End


End file.
